Always this way

I feel like no matter what I do, I can't do it right. No matter who I develop feelings for my past comes back to bite me in the ass. I hate this feeling of worthlessness and being ignored. Of course it's just my female over reactiveness taking control, but i am a female, and I rally cant help but feel this way right now. He became one of my best fiends, and I really hope things can continue where they left off last night. I hate seeing him and wishing he'd just look at me and smirk. God, living with four guys has honestly taught me how much of a gosh damn girl I am. Note to self: stop caring so much. I wonder how many times I have told myself that. Awesome, Ash. Never good enough again.